“The Original Domestic God On The Subject Of Suicide.”

“Suicide,” It’s not really a subject for dinner table conversation, but if you live in my house, conversations about anything and everything are possible . . . and welcome. I’ve never shied away from conversations with my daughters (all grown now) on subjects that might make other parents extremely uncomfortable. I was raised the same way. I could ask my mother any question at all, no matter how embarrassing or controversial I thought it was and I always got a straight forward, honest, answer. Think about it for a minute; “Who do you want teaching your children and telling them the truth, the neighborhood kids?” At least if they here it from you (parents or grandparents) they’ll know the truth and not some crazy, far-fetched, fairy-tale.

Most everyone would agree that “suicide” has got to be one of the most difficult and painful events for any family to go through. Even if a detailed “suicide note” is left behind, family and friends repeatedly say; “If I had only known how much they were suffering, I could have helped them.” But could they really have helped them?What is it that they could have done to take the pain away from that person? This is the question I proposed to my daughters when we were discussing the subject of “suicide.” My question in a nutshell was this; “Is there a solution for every problem facing a person who is suicidal?”

We regard “suicide” or “attempted suicide” as a selfish act of cowardliness or desperate cry for help. We reflect upon the fact that it is the people who are left behind who suffer the most, but that statement can only be true to a certain extent. Again, “What if there is absolutely no solution for which the person is suicidal over?”  Look, I’m not condoning “suicide,” but there is a part of me that understands that type of despair. For one person it could be that they suffer from a mental illness, which does have a solution in the form of medicine and psychiatric help and for another person it could be because of a broken relationship, divorce or even the death of a spouse, which while very emotionally painful, solutions and reasons for living are available. No one can predict the future so maybe they’ll meet another person when they least expect it and develop a relationship with them. It happens all the time.

But what about the person who is, let’s say . . . “Terminally Ill?” They don’t want to suffer any longer and they know that the suffering is just going to get worse until the inevitable outcome happens. You see, not every problem in the world has a solution. And what about the person who, well, just isn’t enjoying life anymore and is tired of just going through the motions.How are you going to change that persons life to make it more enjoyable? Sure, you can offer suggestions and give the “Life is great!” pep talk, but those are only words, not actions or solutions. Here’s another example; There’s a person who wants to commit “suicide”– they are homeless, have no job, no family . . . no hope! How would you talk them out of it? What solution could you offer them? Would you give them a job that pays well enough for them to be able to pay rent, utilities and buy groceries?  Seems to me that solutions are a rare commodity these days.

Have you ever thought about “committing suicide?” I have, still do sometimes. I understand that intense feeling of despair and hopelessness, I’ve lived it and there truly are no words that can be used to describe it. I still have days when I question life in general asking; “Is this really all there is, what the hell is the purpose of all this?” I guess maybe for once I’d like to be on the “winning” side of life where everything goes right and dreams really do come true and not on the eternal losing side where nightmares hide around every corner. I am lucky that I have a wonderful family and without them, I’d probably have checked out after my accident. But since then, it’s been one bad thing after another, I can’t catch a break, I honestly can’t and I’m not joking. So yes, I do understand why people want to commit “suicide.” At one time in my life I believed in God, not so much anymore.

Someone once told me that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, what a crock of poo-poo that is! And, if it’s true that God is testing me, I wish he would just shut up and give me an F because I’m sick and tired of taking this stupid test. So, before you go and judge someone who has “committed suicide” or “attempted suicide,” ask yourself if there were solutions to the issues that haunted and/or destroyed them? That is why I questioned my daughters, to make them think . . . not judge.

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2 thoughts on ““The Original Domestic God On The Subject Of Suicide.”

  1. Nice post. Great points about talking about everything with family. You are right on about just confronting it and not assuming there is always something that can be done.

    Be well.

    Liked by 1 person

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