“The Domestic God And The Hershey’s Kiss . . . Poop!”

You know that old cliche; “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree?” It’s the one that makes reference to the similarities between family members.  Anyway, that cliche holds so much truth when it’s applied to the generations of my family. Growing up, I was the “prankster” and the “comedian.” I was always trying to make people laugh, playing harmless (but funny) jokes on them and sometimes getting in trouble for my actions. (I still am) Well, turns out, I passed that “gift” down to one of my daughters and now that gift is blossoming in my granddaughter. You have no idea how psyched I am.

I remember one time several years ago, my daughter pulled an epic prank on me and got me really good. I laughed about it for days. Oh, you don’t really think I let this one slide, do you? What is it they say; “payback’s a bitch!” So here’s how it went . . . oh, wait till I get to the “Hershey Kiss” prank by my granddaughter later on, but first . . . I am a creature of habit in the morning. I get up, go to the bathroom and then make coffee. One morning, I got up, walked through the living room and saw my daughters sleeping on the couch and recliner. “That’s odd,” I thought to myself, but never gave it a second thought.

I went to the bathroom, came out and grabbed the coffee pot to fill it with water. Still half asleep, I turned the faucet on and was immediately showered with a waterfall of cold water. The expletives that came from my mouth were priceless and I could hear my daughters screaming with laughter. It was then that I knew I was pranked . . . and what a good one! After I went to bed, she took an elastic band and wrapped it around the spray nozzle in the “on” position so when I turned the sink on I would get a really big surprise. Well, that’s an understatement! When I finally realized what happened, I couldn’t stop laughing and gave her a “high five”and a deserved congratulations.

My daughter also realized that I would retaliate and when she least expected it, I would prank her back. And that’s exactly what I did. My eldest daughter had this doll that was the creepiest doll I have ever seen. It was my wife’s doll when she was growing up and it could have been the star of any horror film. No joke! It was three feet tall and could walk with you if you held her hand. Her eyes had turned a dead blue and her hair had turned very brittle.  My daughter (the prankster) hated this doll and was frightened to death of it. She couldn’t even be in the same room with it without getting all freaked out. I agreed with her one hundred percent! So guess what I did?

A few nights later, when she wasn’t home, I placed the doll in her bed and pulled the covers up over the demonic looking dolls head so when my daughter pulled the covers down “creepella” would be staring right back at her.The only person who knew about it was my wife because I knew that my daughter would scream when she saw it and I didn’t want my wife to panic that something really bad had happened. When my daughter got home, we went about our business as we normally do, never letting on that she was about to get historically pranked. My daughter said goodnight and walked upstairs. I just looked at my wife and had to cover my mouth to stifle my laughing. I started counting backwards; 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, and then it happened . . . a bloodcurdling scream erupted from upstairs followed by a few of the choice expletives she had most definitely learned from me. She came running down stairs with tears in her eyes from crying and laughing at the same time and pointing her finger at me said . . . “Touche!”

Now we’re going to fast forward to present day and I have a granddaughter who just turned five and a grandson who is two and a half. Both of them have been witnesses to our silly family pranks and harmless practical jokes and my granddaughter is getting pretty good at it. I always make a big deal out of it when she plays a joke on me as she has one of the most contagious laughs you will ever hear. She made me proud on Sunday (Valentine’s Day) when she super-pranked her little brother. Not only did she come up with the idea herself, but her acting debut could have earned her an Emmy Award.

My wife and I bought each of them a plastic tube filled with Hershey’s kisses for Valentines Day. With her little two and half year old brother in the room and with him not noticing, she placed an open Hershey’s kiss in her right hand. She then placed her right hand behind her at derriere level. Next, she started making straining, grunting noises at which time she brought her hand back out in front of her, palm facing up, with a Hershey’s kiss smack-dab in the middle of it. With her little brother now staring at her intently, she yells out; “Look Finn, I just pooped in my hand!”

Finn’s eyes opened wide as he noticed the small dark object in his sister’s hand. Finn looked on with a horrified expression as my granddaughter took the kiss and popped it into her mouth. As she did this, Finn held up his hand screaming; “no Winnie, no! That’s bad, that’s bad!”  Winnie smiled a chocolaty smile at Finn and Finn started . . . gagging! Yup, he started to dry heave. At this point Winnie began to apologize profusely to him yelling; “It was only a joke Finn, it’s just a Hershey’s kiss, it’s only chocolate!” At this point, my daughter hurried Finn along into the kitchen in case he tossed his cookies. Better to hurl on a floor than on a rug.  My poor daughter and her boyfriend were doing everything they could to not lose control laughing. It really wasn’t funny, but . . . Yes it was, it was hysterical!

Neither one of them had any clue whatsoever that Winnie was going to prank her little brother like that. It all happened so quickly that by the time they realized what had happened . . . it was to late. Later on that evening after Finn calmed down and realized it was just a joke, my daughter reminded Winnie that someday Finn will remember this and . . . prank her back. The gauntlets had been thrown down . . . game on! And let’s just say that after the little one’s went to bed that evening, the grownups laughed their asses off recalling Winnie’s Hershey’s Kiss prank of 2016!

Thank you for reading along and hopefully laughing. Please share or reblog if you feel so guided to and while you’re here, I humbly invite you to subscribe to my blog. All are welcome, all are welcome!

Namaste, Peace, Light and Love to all, “The Original Domestic God!”


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