“The Pie-Crust Parent”

“The Pie-Crust Parent”


I’m sure that most of you have heard the old cliché; “any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a Dad,” haven’t you? More importantly though, have you ever realized how true this cliché is? And ladies, don’t think this is one sided because it’s not. This is a gender equal statement and it doesn’t solely apply to men. The same statement can be made about women being a mothers too. We live in a society where eight out of every ten children come from a divorced and or broken household. What a truly weak and lazy society we have created, haven’t we? Maybe they should just remove the word commitment from the dictionary since only a small few understand its meaning and what it represents.

“What do I know about marriage or being part of a domestic relationship?” Well, let’s see . . . I’ve been married to the same woman for thirty one years so I guess we’re doing something right, huh? We’ve had our ups, our downs, our how . . . or if . . .  we would ever get through them. “But We Did!” How? “Effort, dedication, hard work, respect and love!”  In my opinion, they make getting a divorce way, way, way, to freaking easy. Getting a divorce today is like preparing a simple bowl of cereal when it should be more like preparing a five course gourmet meal. Look, I get it, if you’re in a relationship/marriage that involves any form of domestic, child or verbal abuse, then that’s a whole different menu. (However, sometimes through hard work, change, time, trust and love, sometimes even these hurts can be healed.) No two relationships are ever the same so what may work for one, may not work for another. The problem is you’ll never know unless you try.

Along with “divorce” comes a plethora of heartaches, hurts and resentments, but I’m told that occasionally the divorced parents or amicably separated partners   actually become better friends than they were before. I imagine that’s probably only about two percent of all divorced couples, huh? Whatever the cause of the divorce or breakup, a parents number one priority should be the wellbeing, safety and happiness, of their “child or children!” Recently, a very, very, close family member’s “domestic partner/boyfriend” of six years as well as father of her two children just decided he wanted to be a free spirit again and took off. Of course there’s another girl involved, not woman involved, she’s ten years younger than he is, and it’s a bad situation. She’s only twenty, he’s almost thirty, but even worse is the fact that she’s a heroin addict and has been busted many times. My family member is horrified as she has never or will never get involved in anything like that. She’s a caring, hardworking, loving, mature, intelligent, parent.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, her children’s father has also become a “Pie-Crust Parent.”  You know the type . . . “The parent who easily makes promises that they so easily break.”  Just like a pie-crust . . . easily made . . . easily broken! The hurt he has caused his own children because of broken promises is disgusting and completely unacceptable. He has also decided that taking care of his children financially is an option, not a necessity and can’t understand why their mother is taking him to court for child support. He must be taking some heavy duty, drugs that make you incredibly stupid, leaving you without common sense. It has been made known that he is using Western Union to wire money to his new love to help pay for her habit, bail money and attorney’s fees. When drugs and seeing another woman (who is nothing but dire trouble and a train wreck) is more important than keeping a promise of going to see your kids, then you have become a scumbag, pie-crust-parent and will never be deserving of their forgiveness or love. Eventually the “pie-crust-parent’s” promises will mean nothing to the children other than a bunch of random words thrown together with absolutely no useful meaning whatsoever.

The “pie-crust-parent” must also realize that someday, when they, themselves, are old, sickly and in a hospital or nursing home, their grown children will hopefully afford to them the same respect they were given as children. It must be sad to know that you’ll die . . . all alone with nothing but your broken pie-crust promises!     


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