THE FIVE FOOT SIX COWBOY

 

I’m the five foot six cowboy who’s close to the ground

The last one to get rained on, but the first one to drown

Tall I may not be, but my gun’s fully packed

I got a two handed shotgun when I lie on my back

 

I like to ride horses, I think they’re so neat

But I can’t reach the stirrups with my little feet

So I got me a pony, boy what a train wreck

Because I buckled his knees and I broke his poor neck

 

I got me a woman, her name’s Marylou

She’s shorter than I am, she’s only five two

I’m told I look sexy in my chaps and my gun

I don’t where no undies and I have a cute bum

 

In my cowboy world everything is so small

My stable’s the size of a men’s bathroom stall

But I love who I am and I think it’s a hoot

The kid’s section at Walmart’s where I get my boots

 

I go on the rides at the brand new theme park

So I waited in line until just after dark

Some guy said “it’s your turn, but you’re just too short”

So I bit him in the ankles and I landed in court

 

My truck is a Tonka, its painted bright blue

The thing’s so damn small that it only fits two

So I got me a ladder and I bought a new jeep

Then I climbed in the front seat with all of my sheep

 

I’m the five foot six cowboy and I’m a great guy

I always got your back, well, maybe your thigh

So don’t count me out when the going gets tough

Like a Pit Bull on steroids, I got the right stuff