O K so be honest, how often do you wash your bedsheets? Apparently “I can’t remember the last time I washed them” is not the correct answer and I guess that body imprint on my side of the bed that looks like the “Shroud of Turin” is not supposed to be there! Well, I’m just kidding . . . ish, Do you really think that “The Original Domestic God” would let that happen?
There is a correct answer for this, but before I enlighten you with my brilliant . . . ish knowledge, I must tell you that this domestic chore has certain variables. No, this isn’t a math lesson. If it was you’d all be screwed because this “Domestic God” doesn’t give three sh**’s where X goes and Pi is something you eat for dessert! Anyways . . I digress . . .
Some of the variables are; Do you sleep alone? Do you sweat? Are you a drooler? How do your armpits smell? Do you have a little dog that sleeps down the bottom of the bed who constantly farts? Oh wait . . that’s me . . . sorry! I get blamed for it anyway so why not just take the rap, right? Except there was that one night when I beat my wife to the punch and said; “Good one Honey!” She was not amused . . .hehehehe, Do you shower before you go to bed? Did you play in a sandbox today? How many hucked up hairballs from your cat’s have you picked up? Where did those cookie crumbs come from? Nope, sorry, they’re ants . . .
In addition to all of the above mentioned, there’s also the normal, common stuff like; flakes of dried skin you’ve been shedding for weeks, dust mites, natural body oils. So what’s the answer? The correct answer is; “You should wash your bedsheets once a week” Ya, that ain’t going to happen! A week and a half should be the cut off date. Now that’s doable for me. O K, so I have to ask; “How many of you got the correct answer and how many of you said; I can’t remember the last time I washed them?” C’mon now, be honest!
This helpful household tip has been brought to you by “The original Domestic God!” Y’all have a great day now and keep an eye out for my next helpful tip; “Can you guess what that is growing in my refrigerator?”