“Evaporated Milk . . . Where Did It Go?

As the official and “Original Domestic God,” a portion of my domestic duties include going to the super market and shopping for groceries and other miscellaneous products to keep the family happy. After all, isn’t happiness and harmony all that really matters? Ya, right! Anyway, while I’m busily out on one of my domestic shopping excursions, it isn’t out of the realm of possibilities for one or more of my family members to either call or text me and ask if I wouldn’t mind picking up some product that they are in dire need of.

Most of the items requested of me, I know what they are and where to find them, but occasionally I am thrown a curve ball and am left there to scratch my . . head and ponder, what it is and where I can locate it? Take for instance . . . “Evaporated Milk” Yes folks, the dreaded evaporated milk. Now, I know that I don’t have a genius IQ and I wouldn’t be surprised if I lost a few brain cells growing up in the 1970’s, but I do know that the word “evaporated” means . . . GONE . . as in exists no more . . . as in disappeared! Why would my daughter need milk that is, well, not milk anymore?

So there I am, standing at the front of an overpopulated, overpriced and overwhelming grocery store, individually looking down every aisle and reading the signs hanging above each one that list the products found in that particular aisle looking for a sign that says; “milk that doesn’t exist anymore” or “milk that is gone!”  Guess what? There wasn’t one! Now what do I do? What aisle would be stocked with a carton of absolutely nothing? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh . . . Well, I gave up and broke down and asked a young girl who worked there where I could find “evaporated milk” She looked at me as if I had the plague and said; “What’s that?”   Luckily, a manager was close by who directed me, no, actually took me to where this bizarre item was and my hunt for evaporated milk was over. Don’t even get me started on condensed milk!


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